At least, that’s what I like to tell myself. There’s nothing wrong with me: it’s everybody else.
However, as we exit 2016 I realized one pretty large flaw about myself: I’m pretty good at pushing people away. No, I’m lying, I’m really good at pushing people away. Now, I’m not trying to say that I’m incredibly lonely or be cliche and say that I hate everyone, but I do have this tendency to pick out problems in people and revolve my thoughts and communication around those problems. (If it makes you feel better, I do it about myself too…but does that actually make anybody feel better?) How it works is if someone’s flaw gets big enough in my mind…I no longer want to deal with that person. The reasoning behind it is that I feel the people in my life should be tolerable and that if they have these major flaws that they’re clearly not to be in my life to begin with. But so far, I’ve done it to just about everyone that’s entered my life in 2016. Okay, I get it, it’s problematic.
Let’s start of by saying a lot of long-term relationships of mine have ended this year, whether on my part, on his/her part, or as a mutual decision. Sure, maybe because of this I have subconsciously decided that all people leave eventually so there’s no reason to try to become close to anyone. But that’s not how life works. I get that. People meet people and they become close and the point is to accept these people into your life. But until recently, I had a tendency to jump in head first. I would meet someone, we would click, and I would be claiming this person to be a good friend of mine. That we were close. I always did this to come and find out that they were telling people I was just someone they knew and that they were keeping me at arm’s length. Is that their flaw? Maybe. Is it mine? Quite possibly. Either way, something is wrong.
Friends are supposed to accept friends as they are. Friends are supposed to support and encourage. This goes for platonic friends, romantic relationships, work friends, and the list goes on. The goal in life isn’t to ruin others to build yourself up. Surprise: you can be the best and help others feel like they’re the best too.
So in 2017…Yukari’s going to focus on building stronger relationships. She’s going to focus on herself and send out the positive energy that’s within. She’s going to put effort into all of her relationships and help others feel loved and cared for. However, she’s not going to allow people to hurt her. She’s not going to allow people to take advantage of her or treat her with anything less than she deserves. She deserves the best, just as you do.
Are there any things you want to work on? If there are, you can always message me on any of my social media platforms. We can talk about it. Let’s make 2017 better together.
“Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.”
Henry David Thoreau
a little latte 